Fortune's Proposal Read online

  Bethany sank onto the couch next to where Deanna sat. “Darr told me that you went with Drew and Ross to see the car when they first learned about it.” She kept her voice low, sliding a glance toward Lily, who was standing near the windows with Drew and Jeremy. “I don’t think I could have stood to see it. It must have been so disturbing.”

  “It was.” In so many more ways than Deanna could share with anyone, except Drew. And especially Drew. “The, uh, the car’s in a very remote location,” she added, trying to focus on the conversation at hand, and not the subject of her thoughts who was looking terribly solemn as he stood with his father’s fiancée, his half-empty wineglass dangling from his long fingers.

  Charlene joined them, perching on the arm of the couch. She’d obviously overheard. “The guys are all going back tomorrow. They’re going to take some climbing equipment and do a more extensive search. Try to reach the areas where the search dogs couldn’t go.”

  Deanna’s gaze sought out Drew again. He was wearing an oatmeal-colored shirt that she knew wasn’t his and blue jeans that she knew were and his dark hair was brushed severely back from his face. Even from across the room she could see his pensive expression that didn’t quite fit what was supposed to be a celebration.

  She could hardly envision another search of the accident site, much less imagine Drew wanting to return there. If they found William in an area even less accessible, they surely wouldn’t be finding him alive.

  And maybe Bethany and Charlene were thinking the same thing because neither one of them pursued the topic any further. Instead, they all looked over to where J.R. was still holding Isabella close against his side.

  “I love the idea of another baby,” Charlene said, grinning a little. She was obviously determined to find a more cheerful subject. “Particularly one that I don’t have to be pregnant with just yet.”

  Bethany laughed softly. “I wouldn’t mind it so much, though it would probably be wiser to wait until Randi’s through her terrorizing twos. What about you, Deanna? Do you and Drew plan to have kids right away or wait a while?”

  Startled, Deanna’s gaze finally broke away from Drew, but she could only stare at the other woman. She couldn’t come up with an appropriate response to save her soul.

  “Knowing Drew, I’ll bet he wants to hold off on that,” Charlene inserted, seemingly unaware of Deanna’s tied tongue.

  Bethany nodded knowingly. “But then, we figured Drew was going to hold off forever on getting married. Turns out we didn’t know as much as we thought we did. So…?” She turned her bright gaze back to Deanna.

  “I…I would like to have children,” she finally managed. She was miserably afraid that her cheeks were red, even though she hadn’t technically lied.

  “Just not right away,” Bethany guessed helpfully. Her eyes sparkled with merriment.

  “Settling into married life is pretty fun,” Charlene agreed. “If you know what I mean.”

  Deanna smiled weakly as the other two women laughed.

  “Mind if I steal my fiancée?” Drew suddenly appeared, leaning over them from behind the couch.

  Deanna quickly slid off the couch and smoothed down the gauzy white skirt that was another loaner from Isabella. She didn’t know what Drew wanted, but she was almost pathetically grateful for the interruption, despite the fear that she could very well be jumping from the fat into the fire.

  And when he wrapped his hand around hers as they left the room, that fear deepened even more.

  It wasn’t fear of him. Just the knowledge that—where Drew was concerned—she was totally out of her depth.

  Since he’d—intentionally or not—left her feeling practically seduced over Maria Mendoza’s flan at Red, he hadn’t so much as touched her. Nor had he changed his ways when it came to sharing the bed in their guest room.

  He didn’t say a word now either, as he drew her through the house, only stopping once as they went through the laundry room, to hook a jacket off one of the pegs near the back door.

  “It’s cold.” He finally let go of her hand, only to push the jacket into it as he ushered her outside.

  Her teeth were in danger of chattering, but it wasn’t the chilly night air that was the cause. Nevertheless, she managed to tug the somewhat stiff, woven coat around the shoulders of the loose-knit blouse without fumbling with it too badly. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I just wanted some air.” He made a low sound and grabbed the lapels of the jacket and pulled them close beneath her chin. “Judging by your expression in there, I thought you looked about like I felt.” He headed down the shallow steps away from the house and the warm glow of light. “What were you all talking about anyway?”

  She chewed her lip and followed. “They wanted to know if we were planning on having children right away or if we wanted to wait a while.” She hoped the darkness did a better job of hiding her hot cheeks than it did the surprise in his expression as he looked back at her.

  “And what did you tell them?”

  “What does it matter? None of it’s real anyway.”

  “Maybe I’m curious.”

  She let out a huff and lifted her hands. “Fine. I told them the truth. That, yes, I would like to have children someday. Obviously, I wasn’t answering for you.” The low heel of the tall boots she’d borrowed from Isabella caught slightly in the ground and Drew’s arm shot out, catching her shoulder.

  “Watch your step.”

  She was trying to. Literally and metaphorically. “Thanks,” she mumbled and continued walking, grateful when his hand fell away. “What were you and Jeremy talking about with Lily?”

  “What does it matter?”

  “Maybe I’m curious,” she returned pointedly.

  He exhaled noisily. “I was apologizing to her, okay? For being such an ass about everything when she and my father got involved.”

  Her footsteps halted. “You apologized?”

  He stopped, too. “You think I’m incapable of it or something?”

  “No, of course not. I’m just—”

  “—surprised.”

  “Yes. And glad.” Maybe he’d stop torturing himself so much over what couldn’t be changed.

  He made a low sound that could have meant anything. “She said that it would mean a lot to my father that we were all here in Red Rock. Supporting her. Supporting each other.” His lips twisted slightly. “She said how much he loved us all. How proud he was of us.” Her heart ached when his voice went rough.

  “She knew about the picture,” he added after a moment. “The one of my mother. Jeremy told her I’d found it. But she already knew that Dad always kept it in his sun visor.” He cleared his throat abruptly. “She said she knew how much my mother meant to him because that’s how she felt about Ryan and it’s one of the reasons she loves Dad as much as she does. Loves. Present tense.” He shook his head. “She hasn’t lost hope at all.”

  While Drew was losing more by the day. Deanna pushed her hands in the pockets of her jacket before they could reach for him. “I’m glad you talked with her,” she said again.

  “She also said that it means a lot to her that Jeremy and I have stayed in Red Rock.”

  “I’m sure it would.”

  He started walking again. “Since when have you wanted kids?”

  Despite the aching wish that she could take away some of his pain, she felt herself bristle. “Why wouldn’t I? Not everyone is phobic about such things like you are and it’s a pretty average desire.” They were nearing one of the barns and Drew’s hand touched the small of her back, directing her around the side of it where the smell of mowed grass was strong, even at that hour.

  “I never said I had a phobia about kids.”

  “Are you saying you’d like to have them?” Disbelief dripped from her voice.

  “I never didn’t want them. But kids are better off when they’re raised by married parents. I know that’s not the way a lot of families are now, but it’s still what I believe.”


  Thoroughly nonplussed, she lifted her eyebrows, trying to hide it. “And since marriage is one of your phobias…”

  “Our marriage excluded, of course,” he said wryly.

  How easily he could be wry while she felt wholly off balance. But she managed a shrug and a casual “of course.”

  At the rate things had gone since William disappeared, she couldn’t envision their “engagement” ever reaching an altar-bound conclusion anyway. She felt certain that he was thinking the same thing, particularly after their dinner at Red.

  “I just never heard you talk about wanting kids before,” he added.

  She couldn’t fathom where his sudden interest had come from.

  He was so much easier to deal with when he behaved exactly the way she expected.

  No surprises.

  But all he’d been since they’d arrived in Texas was one tall, disturbing, heart-wrenching surprise.

  She clutched the jacket more closely around her, willing away a shiver, and quickened her step even more.

  Maybe he just wanted to focus on something other than his father and his conversation with Lily. “It’s not as if I spend my entire day at the office talking about my personal wishes and aspirations,” she pointed out.

  “No. Until New Year’s Eve, you barely acted as if you had any desires outside of work at all.”

  She had one overriding desire, and considering everything, he had to know by now as well as she did that he was it. “Personal lives should have no place in the workplace.”

  “So says Gigi’s daughter.” He caught her shoulder again, halting her forward momentum. “Your mother has been all about being personal in the workplace, so you’ve gone to the opposite extreme.”

  There was no point in denying the truth. Particularly because he knew about her mother now, too. She crossed her arms over her chest. She couldn’t imagine why he’d have an issue over her practice. Aside from his penchant for dating money-hungry bimbos that he enlisted her aid when it was time to send them on their way, he didn’t really bring much of his truly personal life into the office, either. “I don’t imagine that you’d want it otherwise. The thing you like best about me is that I’m a focused assistant.”

  So focused and dedicated in fact, she thought hopelessly, that he’d figured she’d happily disappear back into the woodwork where she’d always been once his need of her as his convenient wife was over.

  He let out a faint sound caught somewhere between a laugh and a cough. “Don’t be so certain that you know what I like best about you.”

  Which had her shivering all over again.

  She might as well be a pendulum of emotion where he was concerned, swinging from one end of the spectrum to the other. And she couldn’t seem to do one thing about it but stay here in Red Rock with him even when she figured that the only reason he hadn’t sent her away by now was because he “appreciated” the work she’d been doing on his behalf for Fortune Forecasting.

  His hand was still curving around her shoulder, adding fuel to her agitation. She shifted from one foot to the other, and tightened her folded arms.

  His hand still didn’t fall away.

  And despite the moonlight, his hooded gaze was making her distinctly edgy. She wasn’t sure her heart could take another episode of wondering if she was misinterpreting every move he made. Everything he said.

  She sucked in her lower lip for a second. “Charlene said that all of you are going back to the accident site tomorrow with hiking equipment and searching the area more.”

  He nodded.

  “You’re really going to go with them?”

  He nodded again. “Yes.”

  “Are you sure you want to?” Hadn’t he seen enough of the devastation for one lifetime?

  “The only thing I’m sure about right now is that I want to sleep with you.”

  The world felt as if it came to a screeching halt. Everything inside her went still. She stared at him.

  His hand slowly, deliberately, slid over her shoulder until the warm tips of his fingers delved beneath the jacket collar to graze her skin. “Cat got your tongue?”

  “Evidently.” Her voice was faint. There was no danger of misinterpreting now, and she was hardly able to think past the blood suddenly thundering through her veins.

  His thumb roved up and down the side of her bare neck. “Problem is, I don’t want to complicate things.”

  She barely kept from arching her neck against his touch like a greedy cat seeking more. “It’s already complicated.” More complicated than he would ever suspect, at least where her heart was concerned. “That’s what happens when you get mired in a lie.”

  His hand slid a little until his thumb found the pulse at the base of her throat.

  “Yeah.” His voice was deep as he pressed his thumb against her pulse with enough pressure to let them both know how rapidly it was beating. “But this isn’t a lie.”

  She’d been sleeping—more or less—beside him for two weeks. But in that moment, the feel of her heartbeat throbbing beneath the warm pad of this thumb was so much more intensely intimate than anything that had gone before that she was in danger of dissolving into a puddle right there where they stood in the moonlit shadows of the barn.

  “Drew—”

  “What would be a lie would be continuing to pretend that I don’t want to make love to you.”

  She pulled in a shaking breath and didn’t even care just then that it sounded as openly desperate as she felt. “It’s…it’s the situation. If your father weren’t missing, you—”

  “—would still want this. Bringing you with me to Red Rock just brought it home to me.” His thumb stroked up her throat until it reached her chin. He gently pushed upward, stilling her shaking head and the denial of his words. “Look at me.”

  She couldn’t do anything but.

  “You have to know by now that I can’t get through the day without wanting you,” he said, and even though her emotions quaked, she recognized that he sounded more grim than romantic. “And I damn sure can’t get through another night. But I don’t want to ruin a good thing either, and the last thing I want—when this is all over—is for you to run for the hills.”

  Of course he was already anticipating an “over.”

  Her stomach knotted. The fastest way any woman in Drew’s life could lose his interest was to let him know they were falling for him. Deanna had seen it happen over and over again. And even though she didn’t want to categorize herself with any of those women, she knew that she was no different.

  If Drew learned how she felt, really felt, he’d forget all about the “good thing” they had going. Maybe—given their working relationship—he’d feel some compunction when he ultimately showed her the door, but she had absolutely no doubt that the door was where she would be destined.

  He’d find himself another assistant.

  And she’d find herself out of his life in every way.

  What was worse? Staying with him while hiding her true feelings, or being without him because she hadn’t?

  Whichever path she took was paved with misery.

  All she had to do was tell him that they could become lovers and nothing would change, and she’d at least have some part of him.

  Was that how her mother thought, when she fell for her unattainable suitors?

  Maybe Gigi wasn’t so hard to understand after all.

  Maybe, in comparison to her mother’s headlong rushing into impossible relationships, Deanna was the real coward.

  She moistened her lips. Swallowed. Her fingers pressed into the sinewy strength of his forearms. “I don’t want to ruin anything, either.”

  “So where does that leave us?”

  “I don’t know.” Her voice was nearly soundless.

  He exhaled roughly and stepped closer. “I need a better answer, Dee. Tell me no. Better yet, tell me hell, no. And I’ll somehow figure out a way to get this under control.”

  “Oh, sure.” She moved her hands to his che
st and shoved against him, but he was immovable. “Make me be the bad guy.”

  “Not bad. Just stronger than I am.” His hands slid behind her. Found the small of her back and deliberately urged her against him. “And you’re definitely not a guy.”

  While he most definitely was.

  Her fingers were suddenly curling into his chest, rather than trying to push. He’d made certain that she wore a jacket against the evening chill, but he was only in his shirtsleeves. Nevertheless, her fingers felt scorched by his heat, even through the nubby silk of his shirt.

  “I don’t know what to make of you,” she whispered. “At Red you were—” She broke off, unable to describe what had transpired that night. “But since then—” Again she broke off, just as stuck.

  And here she was supposed to be good with words.

  “I know.” His voice was even. “I’m the worst kind of bastard. But know this, there has barely been a minute in a single day since we came to Red Rock when I haven’t thought about you. About us.”

  Her heart squeezed. His words sent shocking thrills straight through her.

  “I should tell you no,” she whispered. For both their sakes.

  He claimed that he couldn’t say no himself. And even though she was painfully aware that he wasn’t making any professions of love, rather than frightening her off, knowing that he couldn’t deny he wanted her any longer made her feel more than a little bold.

  And she could feel the way he was suddenly holding himself stiffly.

  As if he’d braced for rejection.

  She fisted the silk shirt and levered onto the toes of her borrowed boots until her lips hovered close to his. “I should say no,” she whispered again. “But I can’t make myself do it.”

  No matter what that meant for her—for their—future.

  He exhaled and she tasted his warm breath on her lips.

  Then his arms tightened around her, practically lifting her right off her toes as he pulled her even closer. His mouth covered hers, and whatever doubts that might have lingered about the wisdom of their actions died an unobtrusive death beneath the brilliance of his kiss.